Since our recent success has brought light not only to our local group but the cause of polyamory as a whole, I thought it might be nice to go about looking for groups in Wisconsin that I could become a part of - even if only online. There are a lot of them. (Do a Google search for "wisconsin polyamory groups" and you'll come up with about 14 on Yahoo alone). So I joined them - all of them.

Two of them accepted me in. Wisconsin Open Marriage and Poly In Wisconsin. I was told by most of the other group moderators (not all of them, because some of them just clicked the "deny" when they saw I wasn't from their area, I imagine) that because I wasn't local, that I shouldn't be a part of their group. I needed to just go to Poly In Wisconsin.

Why? Why should I be relegated to my area only? Isn't the point of a community to be as broad as possible to offer the most support? If I'm willing to go the extra length to find your group and join because I want to be a part of it, shouldn't I be granted that privilege? Perhaps not; perhaps I'm untrained in the ways of the community outside of my own Milwaukee one. I think something that Alan said makes a lot of sense, and perhaps that's why I get a little frustrated.

"...I have an impression that young polys, raised with the internet, are more ready to be out in public, compared to older generations who may have lives more deeply invested in conventional versions of respectability."

Am I intruding into someone's private space? Is the possibility of an outsider one more risk of exposure to the world? Even with as many reservations as I've had in the past about coming out publicly, I still understand and appreciate the nature of a support group, and I sincerely hope that all of the trouble we have gone to and headaches we're liable to create for ourselves with this media coverage will help others recognize that there are others like them, that there is a recognized support network, and that there are ways to go about acting on your desires in an ethical way. I also hope that it will show some of those groups that are reluctant to bring members in from outside of their immediate area that we're only here to help.

"Times, they are a-changin'." We have to change with them.

The long-awaited day has finally come (and gone) and now it really only remains to be seen what the general public have to say about it. The link below is the piece that TMJ4 did on us (Milwaukee's local channel 4, NBC affiliate).

http://www.todaystmj4.com/features/specialassignment/50975807.html?video...

A few comments:

The "catchy" promo for it that ran all day Friday was cheesy and racy. They intentionally used the phrases "love triangle" and "provocative new look on marriage." It wasn't terribly sensationalized, but it gave me a start when I first saw it.

The piece, in general, is tasteful. I think they did a decent job of portraying us in a generic - neither gung-ho positive or lynch-them-in-the-square negative - which I can deal with. We also didn't get any bad jokes from Mike Jacobs, which tends to happen after each of the "Special Assignment" pieces. That was nice.

A few corrections, though: they labeled a few people incorrectly. My girlfriend's name is Lyndzi. At about minute 1, they label her as Kris Jernberg, who is actually one of the members of our group - though the piece identifies her correctly in the script. So then at minute 1:40 that is Kris talking about not being a swinger; they label her as Rachel Keuler, who is Lyndzi's roommate. Lastly, Rachel (who is the woman with Jeff - the guy with the hat) is incorrectly labeled as the relationship - not sex - expert Judy Bruett.

It was obvious that the expert that they got to talk about relationships obviously has a) little knowledge about the practice of polyamory to generalized by saying "it would be asking for trouble" and b) doesn't agree with it. There are poly-friendly counselors and therapists in the area; I'm not sure why they didn't spend the time to look one of those up. But oh well.

I personally received five separate text messages last night with the general statement, "Hey, you're on tv." Some knew; some didn't, but they do now. It's nerve-wracking, but it's good to know that we're out there now, and anyone looking for a friendly face knows where to go.

Let us know what you think.

Coming out to anyone is a big deal. Whether your LGBT, Poly, or any other kind of non-traditional walk of life, telling other people about it is a very personal and nerve-racking thing. After nearly four years of being poly, Ashley and I - along with Lyndzi - have decided to go very public about our lifestyle.

For those who weren't aware - or weren't in attendance - TMJ4, one of Milwaukee's local news agencies, came to our group to get a glimpse of what we're all about. They were lucky enough to come on a day we were discussing legal issues, and we also touched on some personal experiences of some of the groups' members. We had a few new folks, and some regulars. TMJ came to my and Ashley's apartment a few days later to do a more personal piece about us and Lyndzi's typical evening together. We did our best to represent our lifestyle respectably and without the sort of drama and "slutting around" that O'Reily and others tend to portray us as perpetuating.

The feature will air on Channel 4 (Milwaukee) at 10pm on July 17th - this Friday. For anyone who sees it, please leave a comment here. We'll also post the link to the video on their website once it's posted.

We thank everyone for their support, and we hope that this brings a positive light to all poly folks and specifically those in Milwaukee. We're very proud of everyone who has been strong enough to come to our group and to be open and honest about their relationships.

Cheers,
Boone

This story has been going around some of the feminist and LGBTQ blogs today. The New York Times article talks about two different families that were kept apart while one partner was in the hospital. Both were legally prepared for the eventuality and were still kept apart.

Ms. Langbehn says that a hospital social worker informed her that she was in an “antigay city and state” and that she would need a health care proxy to get information. (The worker denies having made the statement, Mr. Alonso said.) As the social worker turned to leave, Ms. Langbehn stopped him. “I said: ‘Wait a minute. I have those health care proxies,’ ” she said. She called a friend to fax the papers.

The medical chart shows that the documents arrived around 4:15 p.m., but nobody immediately spoke to Ms. Langbehn about Ms. Pond’s condition. During her eight-hour stay in the trauma unit waiting room, Ms. Langbehn says, she had two brief encounters with doctors. Around 5:20 a doctor sought her consent for a “brain monitor” but offered no update about the patient’s condition. Around 6:20, two doctors told her there was no hope for a recovery.

Despite repeated requests to see her partner, Ms. Langbehn says she was given just one five-minute visit, when a priest administered last rites. She says she continued to plead with a hospital worker that the children be allowed to see their mother, even showing the children’s birth certificates.

“I said to the receptionist, ‘Look, they’re her kids,’ ” Ms. Langbehn said. (Mr. Alonso, the hospital spokesman, says that except in special circumstances, children under 14 are not allowed to visit in the trauma unit.)

In our June meeting we will be discussing how to protect and provide for your poly family with contract law. We will have a guest speaker talking to us about things like wills and estates; also, we will be going over the chapters regarding the law in Tristan Taormino's book Opening Up and discussing Relationship LLC.

In preparation for all of this, we would like to collect as many questions as possible regarding the subject to send to our guest speaker so he can be prepared when he comes.

Leave your questions in the comments and we will forward them on to him.

Thanks!